Question:

 Thank you, Angel, for coming. To be honest I have never understood the inner workings of DID. You truly shed some light on the topic on a more personal level than a medical one. It was perspective that I could get a better understanding of than reading case studies, especially with the map, collages, and stories. I did have a quick question. I wanted to know the significance of the names you labeled each group or individual. Are they the names of the real players in your life or made up names? and if so why and how did you choose these labels/names.

Angel's response:

 Every body always wanted a name. Their own name. There are multiples whose parts absolutely do NOT want to be named. It would be an interesting study. We wanted a name and insisted that we be called by THAT name.

But you also need to understand that the map/round table meeting drawings. The name counts and labels were all for my therapists use not ours. I did not need to take roll call or count every morning. We knew who we were. Where we lived and how to function in my head. We created the system. We didn’t need a map to it. Labels, maps etc were for my therapist’s purpose only. So that they could understand and visualize something. I really, never referred to them other than for that. Our personal process was internal.

Why is your brothers name John? Because your parents named him that. I think the various hosts participated. Parts took names from my environment. TV shows, friends, just sounded cool. And then there were parts that did not have names and they went about naming themselves in the process for the process sake. But I never questioned it when a part gave a name. No more than I would say to you, ”Why is your name Chris?”

And the group labels, again, were for the therapist’s sake. We knew what our jobs were and just did them. But in order to talk about it, process it, you need boxes and labels and so we put ourselves in some box or label to assist YOU in my process. We hated the labels then and still do but understand how it was helpful for YOU to understand our process. So, the labels had mostly do with what seemed to make the most sense to the therapist at the time. With another therapist, I am sure that the map would look different. Isn’t this Quantum Physics theorem that Observation changes the reality?
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Many Blessings,
Angel
Response to Angel:

Intentionality changes reality, in my understanding of it, Angel. We project reality as much, or more than, we percieve it.
Angel's response:

You bring up a topic that is difficult or me articulate. However, my process has brought me to a place of understanding that I reflect myself in my world. My world in merely a reflection of myself. Currently, My external reality has been presenting me with people and situations of powerlessness. Which is a reflection of the powerlessness that I am currently feeling about my health issues. This is how intention creates our reality.

THIS IS AN EXCERPT OF AN UPCOMING PUBLICATION
"Colin Ross teaches a concept called “therapeutic milieu.” The premise of therapeutic milieu states that the patients on a unit - the community living together - are a reflection of the multiples’ inside parts. The interactions and dynamics that developed outside within the patient community were a reflection of the interactions and dynamics of the inside community of the multiple.

One random day on the unit, all of sudden, I saw myself outside of myself within the community. I was looking around the room and said to myself as I noticed each person in the room, “That’s what Christine does, that’s what Debbie does, that’s what Tommy does” - and I got it.

Therapeutic Milieu!!! I thought, well, if I could understand how to relate to the people in the room, then maybe I would be able to communicate with the people in my head.

For the first time I really understood the individuality of each part and knew I had to respect and allow for their uniqueness. I saw how easy it was for me to have compassion outside of myself, that I could in fact have compassion for the other people on the unit. I could have great compassion for other multiples’ kid parts or “evil” parts, but I could not have compassion for my own parts until I saw my reflection. Then I realized that all I needed to do was to treat my parts like I treat others. I had always treated other people better than I treated myself.

I began to listen more intently. I began to see that they, the parts, were not bad or scary. They were mostly terrified little children looking for someone to love them, and the one person who was supposed to be doing that - me - was shaming and judging them into remaining terrified little children. I had to stop that. The shaming and judging was not working. But we were so good at it! We had learned it so well. I still do it, especially to myself, but I am learning all over again. I am remembering who I am and what I have learned. I learned that all we needed was a gentle hand. I learned to practice acceptance, loving allowance and compassion for myself and then I was able to practice it outside of myself.

Now, I see everybody outside of myself as a part of myself. A Reflection of who I AM."
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Many Blessings,
Angel

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